Remember Loreena Bobbit?  Well, see, she was in the passenger seat with her new beau, when suddenly she got enraged, so she chopped off his penis and chucked it out the window. 

Meanwhile, these two stoners are in a car behind them when suddenly it bounces off their windshield.  The dude driving turns to his buddy and says "Whoa!  Did you see the size of the dick on that bug?"

What do you call someone who has sex on the bottom?
A fuck up

What do you call a gay dinosaur?
Mega-saur-ass

The Bear Hunter
------------------------

A hunter goes into the woods looking for that trophy bear. He finds a spot and sits, scoping for his kill. A few minutes later, he feels a tap on his shoulder: it's a bear. The bear says to him "Let me fuck you in the ass or I'll eat you alive!". Reluctantly, the hunter allows the bear to do the unthinkable. He goes home in great embarassment and shame.

A week later, the hunter tries his luck again. Picks a good spot and patiently waits. He again feels a tap on the shoulder: it's the same bear. Again, the bear tells the hunter "Let me fuck you in the ass or I'll eat you alive!". Knowing the power of the bear, he agrees. He goes home, again, embarassed and ashamed.

A few weeks go by and the hunter tries his luck again. He is determined to get this bear! He sets up and waits for the bear. He feels a tap on his shoulder. He turns around and sees the same bear standing in front of him. The bear says:

"Say pal, you don't really come out here for the hunt, do you? "

The Bear and the Rabbit:
----------------------------

A bear comes across a rabbit in the woods. They stop and talk to each other.

"Hey rabbit, do you ever have the problem of shit sticking to your fur?"

"No, can't say that I have."

"Great!"

The bear picks up the rabbit and wipes his ass with it.

Ant

"If I got in touch with my inner child, would that make me a pedophile?" - yours truly

Ant

Things to do in the bathroom stall...

1. Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"

2. Say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that."

3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.

4. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."

5. Drop a marble and say, "oh shoot!! My glass eye!!"

6. Say "Darn, this water is cold."

7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place six to eight feet. Sigh relaxingly.

8. Say, "Now how did that get there?"

9. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."

10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!!"

11. Say, "Interesting....more sinkers than floaters.

12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop it under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?"

13. Say. "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me!!"

14. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot"

15. Say, "Darn, I Knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"

16. Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.

17. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.

18. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"

19. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "Born Free"

20. When you're in a bathroom stall take a Snickers candy bar with you and when someone is next to you, squish it in your hand and reach under the stall wall and say "You got any more toilet paper over there, This side's completely out."

"I thought about using fruit for sex once. So I went to the store. They had no fruit that day, so I bought some Special K with strawberries in it; I had no plans on eating it: I was going to use it as a sex toy. But then I got seconds thoughts. It can't consent, so if I fucked it, I'd be guilty of being a cereal rapist. Unsettled, but now hungry, I poured it in a bowl, added milk, and ate breakfast. I still felt like I was doing something wrong...."

Ant

In other news, herpes were found on Miss Liberty, earlier today.

While the perpetrator is unknown, it is clearly marked as a case of statutory rape.

In other news, herpes were found on Miss Liberty, earlier today.

While the perpetrator is unknown, it is clearly marked as a case of statutory rape.


That's an awful pun! Kama to you.

Ant

-Good Insult-

Is yer dick big enough to reach yer asshole?
Yeah?
Then go fuck yerself.

-Good Insult-

Is yer dick big enough to reach yer asshole?
Yeah?
Then go fuck yerself.

If we're going back to the sixth grade, might as well whip this out:
What's better than roses on your piano?
Tulips on your organ.

Lukeseviltwin wrote
When you're in a bathroom stall take a Snickers candy bar with you and when someone is next to you, squish it in your hand and reach under the stall wall and say "You got any more toilet paper over there, This side's completely out."
You think you're clever until the other guy reaches his hand under and says "Sorry, fresh out over here too!"
:o