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Immaturity Required!

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Subject: Quick Hair Removal Technique...

Written By: Red Ant on 09/30/07 at 2:09 pm

... of course, I don't recommend this method, but to each his own:

Subject: Re: Quick Hair Removal Technique...

Written By: Suq Madiq on 09/30/07 at 9:13 pm

Goodness gracious, great balls of fire! :o  :D ;D

Subject: Re: Quick Hair Removal Technique...

Written By: Jessica on 09/30/07 at 10:53 pm

Oh my hell. ;D

Subject: Re: Quick Hair Removal Technique...

Written By: CatwomanofV on 10/01/07 at 4:27 pm

Not as bad as the video but this was a forward that was sent to me. I have no idea whether this is a true story or not but either way it is funny.

Wax on, Wax off

Some have tricked us with their promises of easy, painless hair removal
the Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now... the wax.
My night began as any other normal weekday night. Came home, fixed
dinner, played with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring
painfully in my mind for the next few hours, "Maybe I should pull the wax out of the
medicine cabinet."
So I headed to the site of my demise - the bathroom.
It was one of those cold wax kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you
just rub the strips together in your hand to warm them up, peel them apart,
press them one at a time to your legs (or wherever else) and the hair magically comes right
off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean I'm no girly girl - I
am mechanically inclined enough - I can figure it out. YA THINK!!!
So I pull one of the thin strips out. It's two strips facing each other
stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, I get out the hair
dryer and heat it up first. Cold wax my ass! (Oh how this phrase haunts me!).
I lay the strip across my thigh, hold the skin around it tight, and
OK-so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this!
Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am Sheera, fighter of all wayward body hair - smooth
skin extraordinaire!
With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids I sneak
back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship.  I
drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I
apply the wax strip across the right side of the bikini line, covering the
right half of my privates and extending down to the inside of my butt cheek (yes, it
was a long strip).I inhale deeply and brace myself. RRRRIIIPPP!!!! I'm blind!!! Blinded
from pain!!!!
Vision returning...I notice that I've only managed to pull off half of the
strip. DAMN!!!Another deep breath and RRIIPP.  Everything is swirly and spotted. Do I
hear crashing drums???
OK - back to normal. I want to see my trophy-the wax covered in hair
that has caused me so much pain. I want to revel in the glory that is my
triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip ~ but there is no hair on it. Or for
that matter, no wax either.
Slowly I look down, foot still perched on the toilet seat. I see the
hair...the hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax!
I peel my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body that is now
covered in cold wax and matted hair and then make the next BIG mistake...remember one
foot is still propped up on the toilet seat. I know I need to move to do
something.So I put my foot down and then I hear the slamming of the cell door.
Vagina? Sealed shut. Ass?? Sealed shut. Noooooooooo! I penguin walk around the
bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself "I hope I don't get the
urge to use the toilet. My head might pop off."
Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can
stand. The wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right??? WRONG.
I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter  that used to
sterilize surgical equipment. I sit. Now the only thing worse than
having your business glued together is having them glued together AND glued to
the bottom of the tub. In scalding hot water, no less. Which - by the way -
doesn't melt the cold wax.
So now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub!!
Thank God the cell phone is within reach. I call my friend thinking
surely she's waxed before and has some secret for getting me undone. It's a
very good conversation starter "So... my ass and cooch are glued together AND
stuck to the bottom of the tub..."
She doesn't have a secret trick, but does a pretty good job of hiding
her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where is the wax on the
Are we talking cheeks or hole or what?" She's laughing out loud by
now...even with her hand covering the phone I can hear her.
I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of
the box. Yeah right!! Like I want to be the laughing stock of the night
crew working the phone banks at some call center - probably in India.
While we go through various solutions. I figure I'll just have to scrape
the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie
goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot
water, and then dry shaving the sticky wax off!!
I then find the most beautiful saving grace... the lotion they give you
to remove the excess wax. I rub some and scream "IT WORKS!! I get a hearty
congratulations from my friend and she hangs up.
I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my
dismay...the hair is still there... all of it. So I just shaved it off.
I'm numb at this point. Then I put the wax back in the medicine cabinet.
You never know...I may have a mustache that needs work someday.


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